To my family and friends,
If you’re reading this, then I can only apologize for the pain I have caused you. I hope this letter finds you in good health and I wish that you find solace in the knowledge that I understood this was always a possibility. While I will always beg the gods for a chance to spend a single additional minute with each of you, I understand that fate does not always favor our wishes.
To my dearest sister, Alcina:
You are my other half. You know my heart and mind better than anyone in this life, even better than me sometimes. I cannot imagine the grief you must be experiencing. I know you though and I ask that you keep your heart open to our family and our friends. They’re all we have and they love you just as I do. No matter the circumstances of my death, I forbid you for shouldering any guilt for it. We all knew the risks we were taking as bannerettes and Caretakers. I know without a shadow of doubt that if there had been anything you could have done to prevent this outcome, you did it. Do not be saddened for my passing. This is just another transition. We will be together again. I love you.
To my closest friend, Loxley:
I bet you never thought you’d outlive me, did you Gramps? We’ve been through some tussles and close calls before. I’m certain neither one of us saw this coming. I do hope that Gowdy isn’t too sad. Give him a snuggle from me, would you? We’ve been companions almost all your life. I hope you know that I consider you a brother. As my brother, I need you to look after Alcina. She will need your support and guidance. You’ve always been a calming voice. I’m sure that you are being hit with this just as hard as she is, but I have confidence that you’ll be able to keep her on an even keel. I’m trusting you, old man! I love you Gramps. Take care of yourself.
To my beautiful mother, Quelanna:
You were always the lighthouse in my storm. When I was abroad and worried about losing my way, you were the beacon that guided me safely home. I can’t put into words what you’ve meant to me. I know that you worry about the boys and Alcina. You and father have been the best parents I could have ever asked for. Know that your children will be alright. You’ve done an amazing job. As I write this, the only thing that brings sadness to my heart is the knowledge that I will never get to embrace you again in this life if you read this. I beg that you do one thing for me and that is to make amends with Alcina. You know she’s always had trust issues and to find out that you were concealing the truth about our brothers couldn’t have settled well with her. I love you and we’ll see each other again.
To my father, Arannis:
One thing I will never discredit you for is being a source of much-needed structure in my life. Without your guidance and protection, I dread to think of what may have became of my life. For this, I want you to know that I have always been thankful, no matter our disagreements. I know you’ll take care of our family. My last ask of you would be to express more compassion and flexibility towards them, especially Alcina. She favors you, you know? Definitely more-so than myself. I won’t write a message to my brothers because they are too young to properly process what has happened. I place my trust in you to tell them and ensure they are able to process it in a healthy way. I love you, you stuffy blowhard.
To my new family:
I regret that I’ve only met most of you within the past few months, but I feel a kinship towards you that I can only describe as familial. We’ve certainly seen some interesting things during our time together. I would lay down my life in defense of any one of yours. Ki’irel (Ki-Ki), you’ve become like a sister to me and I greatly enjoyed our time together. All the gossip sessions, peeping on those guards, and watching your determination to find justice for Rin. You possess a good soul and I don’t know if there is a darkness powerful enough to snuff your light. Please watch over our friends and keep them safe. Tarek, what can I say? I definitely appreciate a man who can hold his liquor and dissect a complicated arcane text all at the same time. If you’ve outlived me with your proclivity for explosions and dangerous magics, I will be surprised. All the same, I want you to know that you’ve become a trusted ally and I want you to help my sister better understand and grow with her abilities if you can. Midori, I’m not sure what to say here. You always seem very distant and quiet, but I have a strong feeling that your personage belies a greater destiny and power. I am saddened that I have not survived long enough to see what fate holds for you. Daemon… Oh Daemon, you are certainly one odd guy. You are extremely capable with your sword and have a fierce loyalty streak. If I knew nothing else about you, that would be enough. However, as much as you try to hide, I sense a deep well of emotion behind that stone-cold facade. I’m not sure what impact my death would have on you, considering your opinions on death. But, if you find yourself saddened, do not be. I am in no pain and I know I will see you again, my friend.
This is the part where I say goodbye, but my hands tremble as I try to finish this letter. Know that I do not fear death; we signed up for it. My greatest fear is that my absence will prevent me from being able to watch over and protect you all. So, instead of saying goodbye, I will just ask you all to do a favor for me: Be stronger than I was. Follow your hearts and protect the things you hold most dear. Our time in this life is fleeting, so cherish every moment.